Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
