some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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