and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
