I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Alive.
So much puke
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
