Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sext me about skeletons
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
