i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
