How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
