i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My pussy is not your playground.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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