I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
