She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
