i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
