If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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