Having a random hookup so left but love u
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
