if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
