So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
