And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
