I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
