im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
