Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
