so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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