wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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