when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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