New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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