This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
