So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
