All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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