Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
ttyl tear gas
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
