Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
