smell my finger.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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