You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
