I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
