even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
sex in a hospital.. check
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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