He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
