another moral hangover. fuck.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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