O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
