there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
