oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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