God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
