Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
