O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just cropdusted the office
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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