I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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