Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
