ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Bring me that man meat
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
