I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am midnight drunk by noon
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
