i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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