Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
