Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
