she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
