ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
