She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My breasts were aching with rage.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
