I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
