Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
