I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
