tell your sister to shave her snatch
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
