can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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